Relationship roller coaster: when to get off.

Eyes lock, numbers exchange, dates happen, time passes, you part ways. Add sprinkles of excitement and unnecessary drama to that equation and that’s the cycle of most relationships.

Some like to take a different path. Some start and end then start, then end and start and end, again and again. Some couples just love the roller coaster.

rollercoaster

I have journeyed with a friend going through this ordeal. His long-distance sometimes love has been playing the start and stop game. I’ve listened, a lot. Each relationship is different and while I have an opinion, I don’t have to deal with the outcome. I’ve watched him reel; it is hard to watch someone you care for be in so much pain. It was time to intervene.

Instead of telling him to end it and get over it, I asked questions:

Why do you want to stay together and why do you want to break up?

Forget what she says, how do her actions say she want to be with you?

How does she make you feel about yourself?

Do you like the person you are right now dealing with this?

Would you let a friend be treated the way you are being treated?

When going through a breakup/stay together situation, you need to move beyond memories and get to the facts. After three years together, I’m sure they had great times but not one happened recently. Holding onto the past will only make the roller coaster continue to loop. Not all relationships will last forever, and while it is scary to be alone when you are used to the comfort of a significant other, in the case of my friend, scared may be the best outcome.

This post was originally published as part of a relationship and sex column I wrote. Warning: some are a bit risque. Any interest in me sharing the rest of those here?

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