We aren’t Facebook friends.


A boy named Chris asked me for my number at the bar. I don’t know his last name. We didn’t become friends on Facebook.

Over the phone I learned he is originally from Vancouver, BC, is completing his Masters Degree in Social Policy, and remembered I have green eyes.

Because we are not friends on Facebook, I can’t tell you what elementary school he went to, what his undergrad is in, or think he creeped my photos to find out my eye colour.

On our first date I learned he wants to work in Aboriginal communities, writes a blog about physic and the cool side of science, and has a similar sarcastic sense of humour.

Because we are not friends on Facebook I can’t tell you what places he checked in to before our date, who any of his friends are except the ones I met at the bar, or know who his favourite band, sports team, or comedian is.

Over text I learned he thinks I’m pretty neat, was glad he got caught up in hours of conversation, and was really not over his ex.

Because we are not friends on Facebook I can’t look up photos of the ex, see they got back together months down the road, or have to worry about that awkward moment when he goes to delete me but realizes I beat him to it.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love social media, but when it comes to relationships there are a few things I don’t want to know. I think being able to Google the person you’re dating, or checking out their Timeline before you know the basics about them ruins a few things. Get to know their personality, their quirks, and where all their scars are before you know just how many x’s and o’s someone left in the last message on their wall.

If they have any big secrets they aren’t telling you, they probably won’t be on Facebook, either. Once you learn the last name, the family tree, and if you’re going to stick around, then exchange URLs. Only then should it be you against the World Wide Web.  (Though I do wish I had the link to that physics blog!)

Have you researched a date or do you add everyone to Facebook? 


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5 responses to “We aren’t Facebook friends.”

  1. Cara (@care_ah) says :

    This post is amazing. I love how true it is.
    The other weekend I met a guy at a bar and we talked and danced all night then he asked me if I had facebook. Not for my number… which I thought to be very off putting. Turns out he is married. Glad I didn’t accept that friendship.
    But its so weird how the first thing we do when a guy adds us is creep all over their profile. I did it the other morning with a friend of mine we added this guy she met and then we lay in bed laughing and creeping through his facebook account. Its almost like second nature to do… which is not how it should be.
    xx Cara

  2. Shannon Kelly says :

    Sad reality, most people google their dates. Often that pulls up nothing, unless you blog, were a cheerleader, in-game host… I’m EFFED!

  3. Debbish says :

    I really love this post! Beautifully written and oh so very true!

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