We don’t share our weaknesses; it’s just not what we do. Even in job interviews where we are asked our worst qualities no one is honest. Instead we jump to some answer about how being a perfectionist is the worst because we just work so darn hard. Bullshit. You’ll probably show up late, take liquid lunches, steal the stapler from your desk and make numerous long distance calls from the office during work hours.
I’m not perfect – far from it – so here are a few things I really suck at:
Checking my voicemail: thank goodness iPhone texts me my voicemails, that’s the only way they are checked. I don’t check my work voicemail so never leave a message.
Returning email: unless there is a pressing question or we are going back and forth while I’m bored at work, it will take me forever to respond to your catch up email. I think you should just text me.
Asking for help: instead of asking for someone to fill my water glass, I put the cup in my cleavage and crutch to the bathroom or kitchen. I need to not suck at asking for help.
Regularly scheduled hair appointments: no, my hair isn’t white and at the moment it is very obvious that I dye my hair. It’s not pretty.
Brushing my hair: while we’re on the hair topic – it’s overrated. hair brushes are too mainstream, man.
Being funny on command: my sarcastic and witty banter is situational based. I can tell you some funny stories, but at some point it has all happened to me.
Being fake nice: you will know, you can see right through my pretend nice.
Most sports: I’m not the most athletically inclined. I love sports but no one wants me on their team. Who wants the girl who is bad, that knows she is bad, and still so excited?!
Reading signals: I crush so hard but I’m so bad at figuring out the ‘like’ thing so I just make no move.
Putting away clean laundry: it remains folded on my bed, on the floor or in my laundry basket. Rarely in my closet.
I’m sure that I suck at a lot of other things. Moral of the story: text me, don’t talk about my hair unless it looks fabulous, and tell me that you like me.
What do you suck at?