I suck.

We don’t share our weaknesses; it’s just not what we do. Even in job interviews where we are asked our worst qualities no one is honest. Instead we jump to some answer about how being a perfectionist is the worst because we just work so darn hard. Bullshit. You’ll probably show up late, take liquid lunches, steal the stapler from your desk and make numerous long distance calls from the office during work hours.

I’m not perfect – far from it – so here are a few things I really suck at:

Checking my voicemail: thank goodness iPhone texts me my voicemails, that’s the only way they are checked. I don’t check my work voicemail so never leave a message.

Returning email: unless there is a pressing question or we are going back and forth while I’m bored at work, it will take me forever to respond to your catch up email. I think you should just text me.

Asking for help: instead of asking for someone to fill my water glass, I put the cup in my cleavage and crutch to the bathroom or kitchen. I need to not suck at asking for help.

Regularly scheduled hair appointments: no, my hair isn’t white and at the moment it is very obvious that I dye my hair. It’s not pretty.

Brushing my hair: while we’re on the hair topic – it’s overrated. hair brushes are too mainstream, man.

Being funny on command: my sarcastic and witty banter is situational based. I can tell you some funny stories, but at some point it has all happened to me.

Being fake nice: you will know, you can see right through my pretend nice.

Most sports: I’m not the most athletically inclined. I love sports but no one wants me on their team. Who wants the girl who is bad, that knows she is bad, and still so excited?!

Reading signals: I crush so hard but I’m so bad at figuring out the ‘like’ thing so I just make no move.

Putting away clean laundry: it remains folded on my bed, on the floor or in my laundry basket. Rarely in my closet.

I’m sure that I suck at a lot of other things. Moral of the story: text me, don’t talk about my hair unless it looks fabulous, and tell me that you like me.

What do you suck at?


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9 responses to “I suck.”

  1. Danielle (@itsaharleyylife) says :

    ahhh I’m so bad at checking my voicemail! I seriously never do it. Probably not good!

  2. BackatSquare0 (@BackAtSquare0) says :

    I totally lack small motor skills. Can’t wink, raise one eye brow, etc. Plus I am great at giving compliments to others, but suck at complimenting myself.

  3. jenna says :

    im terrible at getting my hair cut regularly too! i just never make the time to call and get it done! im also terrible about laundry. i hate doing it, so it piles up way more than it should! oh, i also suck at eye contact. LOL. spalove to ya!!

  4. EmilyS says :

    I suck at separating myself from my work. More specifically, when I get “constructive criticism” about an event or feedback about something work related, I have a hard time remembering that it’s not a personal attack on me…but ways to make something I do better. I put a lot of “me” into what I do, so it can be very difficult to remember that they aren’t saying that I personally need to improve (although I realize that I am not perfect!!) but that there are elements of the job/event/etc that could be better…

  5. Katy @ Fit In Heels says :

    Oh my God we are so similar, BFF! The laundry, hair did, asking for help, checking voicemail, returning emails, being funny on command… all things I suck at. I also really suck at trying to get my point across to someone I don’t agree with without welling up with tears- it’s like a juvenile habit I have that is so embarrassing. I suck at putting my family before my friends. I also suck at answering the doorbell. I’d rather pretend I’m not home and hide. I’m now going to bury my hole in a pile of sand.

  6. IHeartVegetables says :

    I can’t be funny on command either! It’s SO awkward!!

  7. Debbish says :

    I can relate to some of these Laura. I’m bad at asking for help! (Very bad… I hate asking for favours!)

    I also hate making phone calls. I prefer to write – so email or text suits me just fine.

  8. Mackenzie J. says :

    Brushing my hair: while we’re on the hair topic – it’s overrated. hair brushes are too mainstream, man.

    “long hair, don’t care”

  9. ~jenniferlynn says :

    Haha. love this list!
    Brushing hair – I can’t tell you the last time.. Just kinda finger comb and go..and,
    laundry? Ha! it usually sits in the dryer until I need something, then I rerun the dryer to unwrinkle it.. 😉

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