Make myself sick.
After blowing through my May Book Club read in three days I wanted something to tide me over until the next book was selected. With three comment suggestions for Fifty Shades of Grey, I knew it must be something.
For those who have not read it, I can sum it up with three words = Christian. Ana. Sex.
I’m now blushing…and on the second instalment of the Fifty Shades trilogy, which thankfully is less smut and more love.
Yes, I’m positive that I may be the only person to turn an erotica novel into a love story, but there is something about the smouldering and dark Christian Grey that makes my heart ache.
I’ve mentioned I love broken/damaged men, right?
And then it made me think. Think so hard that I couldn’t sleep last night.
Where do I, Laura Elizabeth Bridgman, find my own Christian Grey? (minus the Red Room of Pain – a tickle trunk will suffice). The right mixture of intimate and carnal. Intelligent and romantic. Does this man exist for me? Though it is far too sobering to speak aloud, I have often contemplated the spinster lifestyle; what happens if I end up the crazy cat lady who loves so deeply but is alone? All alone.
I know her. I know the lifestyle. My life has a few of them. I can’t think of an answer to that question. I just think.
I’m not writing this for you to tell me I’m young and I’ll meet someone, or, who cares about a man and plans. Personally, I don’t believe there is someone out there for everyone. I don’t think everyone has a fairytale romance or a happily ever after. People end up alone. I also hope that I will be one of those lucky ones that doesn’t, since the thought of it makes my insides jump around in fear.
Can you believe it? The self-admitted occasional love cynic, does still believe in it. I’m in a love daydream reading about Christian Grey and I’m okay with it (to a point). At the moment, I’m very open to the thought of love and letting my guard down. I may actually be encouraging it. What’s up with me?
Actually this isn’t my fault. If you suggested I read Fifty Shades of Grey, I blame you.