“I hope you find the right senior citizen”

The horror of online dating, my friends.

There is a little bit of a back-story here: I like old men. No, I don’t have dad issues. I am just attracted to men approximately 10 years older than me, give or take. I think it’s because I’m an old soul, I have a hard time remembering how young I really am sometimes. I have never (up until last Sunday) gone on a date with anyone younger than me.

Now that we’re all caught up, here is the story of the week.

Since I moved I’ve dabbled in online dating. Met some real gems, too. Like the 38 year old that thought holding my hand after four dates was “too aggressive” or the guy that told me he was looking for something serious and wanted to get to know me, and proceeded to make a move in his car half way through the first date. No thanks.

I ignored my account for a number of months, but after hearing Katey’s success story, I thought I’d take another spin at things.

Enter the ex-snowboarder. A reformed party boy, who was sweet and funny. We decided to take things offline, text for a bit. Answering intimate questions about ex’s and the type of people we usually date.

I was ready to meet, and then tragedy struck his family. His estranged birth mother died. Sad. That led to a night of drinking, a 1 a.m. phone call, and me getting very upset. A red flag. I wish I realized the red flag then. I let it pass, he had suffered trauma.

More texting, the flu, and a strained hamstring later we were back to conversation about meeting. Then, freak out number two. A text rant from him about not trusting hot girls, or something. I wasn’t paying attention to what he was writing; I really was just paying attention to the amount of times he called me hot. I’ll take it.

I don’t do well with freak-outs, especially with someone I don’t even know. I am not putting up with anyone’s drama. Do not try to change me, and really do not try to control me.

In his rant, he threw out many insults, trying to cut me down. It won’t work…remember, you just called me hot…plus, I now think you are certifiably crazy and am not taking you seriously.

In the mess of bashing, he did get in one really good dig.

He also couldn't type or spell. Turn off.

If you’re going to slam me, at least be funny about it. I read this one and couldn’t stop laughing. Guess he was lying when he said he wasn’t intimidated that I usually date older men. He was only a year older than I was; puppy.

Yes, I changed his name in my phone to “Crazy Face” so I know who it is, if he dare write me again. Then I deleted him from Facebook. Harsh.

As for the date with the boy younger than me last Sunday. I was asked out by a 24 year old ginger at the bar. He also sent me a crazy text. Wish I took a photo of it before deleting him forever.

Back on pause. I love me. I hate dating.

14 responses to ““I hope you find the right senior citizen””

  1. EmilyS says :

    I have a “protection oder” (Winnipeg’s fancy term for restraining order” against someone that makes me now ALWAYS pay attention to red flags! Never give up, you’re awesome and despite all the freaking frogs you’ll have to kiss, your Prince Charming is out there…

  2. lnmwonderfulworld says :

    I’ve had many an online dating horror story myself. I can usually weed them out in the digital process before it gets face to face. There are a lot of crazies out there, good luck!

  3. Krista* says :

    Hahaha, wow. I laughed out loud. From beginning to end.
    How does this happen to you?! You’re way to cute and awesome for this… 🙂

  4. Debbish says :

    Oh god…. That brings back memories. I gave up on it all for a while. I keep telling myself that if I lose weight I might try again, but…. *Sigh*

  5. Katy @ Fit In Heels says :

    First- funniest thing I’ve ever read. Second- you’re hot. Third- I love gingers. True story. Fourth- bad grammar/spelling equals deal breaker. Fifth- you get to be Taylor Swift but the blogger. Don’t F with my girl! Sixth- you’re hot.

  6. Karin says :

    Online dating is interesting, as I did it for a few years. Yes, there are the crazies out there, but there are good guys too. You just need to find diamond in the rough. I did, met my husband on match.com.

    You will meet prince charming one day, and you will know it, when you meet him.

    • Laura @ scribbles and sass says :

      Thanks, Karin. I completely agree. That’s why I keep trying. Also I know of a lavalife success story, an eHarmony success story, two POFsuccess stories, and now a match.com success story.

      I’m hopeful – but the disasters make for such fun stories.

  7. Justine says :

    OMG LB!

    I still love your little life! This reminds me of our ‘Dubs’ Days and wish you were closer!!

    Thanks for sharing and keep your fans up to date!!


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